Your mood can weather the storm. The easiest way to make more good days for yourself.

Your mood can weather the storm.png

 

How many times have you said “the weather is miserable” or “this rain is so depressing” or “I’d be a lot happier if it was warmer” or anything else to that effect?  Can you count on one hand the number of times you’ve ever said something like this? I know I can’t, and I’d bet money on that you can’t either.

 

Where did the idea that bad weather creates a bad mood come from?

My guess would have to be that way, way, way back in the day, when the majority of the human population was hunting and gathering, a stormy, or cold, or dreary day meant a higher chance of getting sick. This probably limited our ability to hunt, or leave the cave (or hut, or wherever we lived), which likely wouldn’t have catered well to a population that was made to move.  

Imagine that this creates the belief that rain, clouds, or generally not bright, sunny days are “bad” weather days.   Let us imagine that this belief is passed down a long line of generations.  Imagine that eventually, a majority of the population is now involved in and dependent on agriculture, which requires rain, (but not too much), and doesn’t respond well to too many freezes.  Thus, this population becomes dependent on the “right” weather for food. Now let’s imagine that this confirms the belief that there are “good” and “bad” weather days, and maybe even “miserable” days.  

 

Enter Stage Left - Science

Imagine this belief is passed down to today, where many people work indoors, away from the weather, but a specifically bad rain or dreary day affects their moods.  There studies that identify the presence of something called seasonal depression, and there are light therapy treatments to help alleviate this depression.  So, people assume that it’s normal to allow weather to impact their moods, because studies have been done.

I consider myself a scientist.  The point of this is not to discredit the people that do those studies, nor is it to discredit the studies themselves.  But, as a scientist, I understand the limits of data, and you should too. The way we reach conclusions is to change a variable and see what happens.  Now if you survey people about their mood on a sunny, breezy, warm (but not hot) day, I don’t doubt that you’re going to get more people in a happy mood.  I also believe that if you surveyed the same people on a drizzling, almost freezing day, with overcast skies, you would interview most of the people in a worse mood.

 

But then – from out of nowhere – comes the outlier.  

I also bet, that depending on your sample size, you are going to find one, two, or a handful of people that don’t correlate with this pattern.  In my time as a geologist, I have interacted with many other scientists and engineers, and I found that most of the time you can split them into two categories:

  1. Those who will find an outlier, and find any reason possible to disqualify it from their data set.

  2. Those who will find an outlier, and try to find the actual cause of it being an outlier, to see if they can learn something new from it.

Much more often than not, you will find people that fall into the first category. Why?  Because much more often than not, the nature of our work requires us to provide an answer in a meeting, or get a paper published in the timeline our grant money requires.  In our society, often a quick answer is preferred to providing the response “More questions came up, and I’m trying to figure them out.” While the latter response isn’t wrong, it may not be what your manager, professor, or team wants to hear.

 

How is this all relevant?  

Because I think we can learn a whole lot from studying what may cause the outlier in my theoretical experiment of interviewing the same people about their mood on days with different weather.  

Let’s start by listing the top reasons that come to your head for why someone may be in a bad mood on a sunny day:

  • Maybe they’re upset because they’re sick

  • Or they could have been fired from their job

  • Or they could be going through a break up

    Etc. etc.

Now let’s think why someone could be in a good mood on a cold, overcast, drizzling day:

  • They just landed their dream job

  • Or they could have finally been able to bench more weight at the gym

  • Or they could have just aced a test

    Etc. etc.

Now in all of these cases, can you find something in common?  Something that they had a part in happened, and they reacted to how that event made them feel.  In other words, they didn’t look up at the sky and decide that they were going to let it tell them what they felt like on that day, and instead allowed their present experiences to dictate that emotion.  

 

We’re talking about perspective here.

Shocker that I’m talking about perspective again, right?  Well that’s only because it is one of the single best tools in your toolbox for fixing most situations, so I’m going to keep saying it until it’s as ingrained in you as the alphabet.  As the phrase goes… Sorry, not sorry.

I used to be one of those people that let something as out of control as the weather change my mood.  Admittedly, making the conscious effort to stop doing that, didn’t happen easily at first.

 

Then I had a flight.

No, the humor is not lost on me that I was in the sky when I had the revelation about how I shouldn’t let weather dictate my mood.  I was on a flight from London to Chicago. The sky in London was the way I pictured it being in late September, overcast and drizzling.  But, I was about to return from my first ever trip to Europe, and I was so happy to have had the opportunity to be there.

 

As the plane rose higher and higher, into, and then above the clouds, the realization finally hit me: It’s always sunny, if you’re up high enough.  

It was so simple, and in-your-face obvious that I was dumbstruck by it.  

Do this exercise on just about any plane (that goes a far enough distance to warrant it getting high enough to breach the clouds), and tell me if I’m wrong.  When boarding and taxiing on the plane, look at people’s countenance; observe it especially on days where it’s not sunny. Pay special attention to those who chose to sit at a window seat.  Now, after the plane has gotten up above the clouds, try to identify the same people and see if they look happier. Do they? My guess, is most of them do. You may even see a person or two staring out the window in awe.  

Now the weather didn’t actually change, but their perspective and the way they saw it did.

 

The secret to having more good days.

By this point, you probably get that the whole idea of this post is to not judge the day by the weather.  Just in case, I’m going to say it again:

DON’T JUDGE THE DAY BY THE WEATHER.

You may be thinking, “Okay, I get it!  But how?! Sometimes it rains and my backyard floods.  Or it makes me late to work, or this, or that.” Don’t worry, I’m going to give you some strategies to use if you’re finding it exceptionally difficult to stay in a good mood.

 

1.  Change your responses to questions.

When someone asks you how your day is going, make a conscious effort to not mention the weather in your response.  This sounds really easy, but in practice it’s a lot more difficult.  Whether or not you realize it, the way you respond to questions is usually your brain working on autopilot.  Your most likely response, is one you probably have been saying, or have heard other people say in their responses your entire life.
 

It’s like learning to tie your shoes differently when you’re an adult.  You’ve been doing this the same way your entire life. Then, someone points out that by tying them differently, they’re way less likely to come undone.  It may be hard to remind yourself every time you tie them to do it the new way, but, if you keep working at it, eventually you may not have to be worried about tripping on them again.  
 

2. Visualize a different perspective.

As humans, we think in images.  If you look outside and have a real hard time seeing anything good about today, then this is an exercise for you:

Close your eyes and imagine that you are in an airplane going over the exact same place you are standing right now.  Imagine that the airplane is above the clouds. What do you see? What do you think about? Keep your eyes closed and ask yourself where the plane is going. Imagine yourself sitting next to your best friend, laughing at a great joke they just made.  How do you feel? Open your eyes once the answer is “good”.

It’s funny sometimes how when you literally look past an obstacle, you see that your mood isn’t the obstacle’s fault.  You have no control over the obstacle. So why let it dictate something you do have control over, like your mood? That’s like saying, “I have a kingdom, but if it rains I lose my land.”  It makes no sense.

So if you’re always late to work when it rains, then make a conscious effort to leave earlier, or find a different route that doesn’t flood, or find a way to work from home that day.  Get creative. If your backyard floods, then think about how you can fix that problem. Is it possible that you need to find a better drainage solution? Did you choose to live somewhere in a floodplain?  Did you think about this when purchasing your house? Again, it’s not your fault that there’s a storm outside, but it is your choice if you let it create one within.

 

3. Ask people about the best day of their lives.

I’m serious.  Go call your mother, sister, friend, father, brother, grandma, or anyone else and ask him/her what the best day of their life was.  Listen to their response. I bet that on the best day of their life, they weren’t the least bit concerned by what the weather was doing.  Go ahead and ask them what the weather was like that day, do they remember? They may, or they may not. But, I bet that wasn’t the most pivotal factor in their happiness.

When I worked as an assistant to a wedding coordinator, I worked in what may have been the rainiest spring in Austin’s history.  It seemed that every Friday and Saturday that season, the sky would open and there would be flooding. I’ll never forget one bride.  We had to tell her that it looked like there would be a lot of rain during her ceremony, which was supposed to be outside, and that we needed to move the ceremony inside.  She said, “It’s a beautiful day, because I’m getting married. I don’t care if I’m getting married 50 feet away from where I wanted. I’m getting married and that’s what matters.”

 

You can’t control the weather, but you can always weather the storm.

It’s as if the weather wanted me to truly illustrate this point.  As I’m writing this, it’s 40 degrees, drizzling, and gray outside.  It’s April in Austin, Texas. Which generally means that it’s 85 degrees with a nice breeze and partly cloudy skies.  Would I prefer that it was otherwise? No, because I woke up inspired to write this post for you.

 

Sincerely,

Taylor